Entitlement isn’t confidence – it’s unchecked ego wrapped in delusion.
It’s in our families. In our friendships. In our offices. It’s everywhere.
You’ve seen it. Maybe you’ve felt it. That one person who acts like the world owes them something. They walk into a room with a chip on their shoulder and a list of demands in their back pocket. They’re not asking; they’re expecting. Promotions. Apologies. Privileges. Respect they haven’t earned.
This isn’t ambition. It’s entitlement.
Do People Know They’re Entitled?
Here’s the real kicker: most entitled people have no clue they’re acting that way. Research backs this up. A Bowling Green State University study found that people with a strong sense of entitlement often believe their behavior is justified and fair, even when it clearly crosses lines. “Entitled individuals often feel misunderstood or mistreated when expectations aren’t met,” says Dr. Joshua Grubbs. “Their belief in their own specialness can be so strong that they don’t view their demands as unreasonable.”
Translation: They don’t think they’re the problem. They think you are.
And in communities like ours – Black, brown, and brilliant – where we’re taught to grind for every inch we get, entitlement feels like an insult to the struggle.
6 Ways to Spot an Entitled Person
- They Think Rules Don’t Apply to Them. Whether it’s skipping the line or showing up late, they believe they’re the exception.
- They Expect Praise Without Performance. They want the crown but haven’t built the kingdom. They’ll say, “Why didn’t I get that recognition?” without receipts to back it up.
- They Can’t Take Criticism. Feedback? They call it “hating.” Entitled folks often turn any form of constructive criticism into a personal attack.
- They Show No Gratitude. They’ll accept favors, help, or opportunities like it’s owed to them and without a thank you.
- They Blame Everyone But Themselves. Failed a test? “The teacher hates me.” Didn’t get the job? “They weren’t ready for someone like me.” There’s always someone else to blame.
- They Constantly Use “Should.” “I should be further by now.” “I deserve better.” Their tone has an air of injustice, but it’s not based on facts. Just feelings.
Where Does It Come From?
Entitlement is often a learned behavior. According to a 2019 article in Psychology Today, it can stem from three major places:
- Overpraising or Overprotection During Childhood: When kids are constantly told they’re “the best” without being held accountable, they may grow up believing the world owes them.
- Trauma and Insecurity: Ironically, some entitled behavior comes from past pain. When you’ve been overlooked or hurt, entitlement can grow as a defense mechanism.
- Society and Social Media: Instagram and TikTok don’t help. We’re bombarded with highlight reels and luxury lifestyles, creating an illusion that success should be instant and easy.
- Bonus: Despite not being covered by Psychology Today, we know race plays a tremendous role in entitlement.
How to Deal with Entitled People (Without Losing Your Sanity)
1. Set Boundaries – Loud and Clear. Don’t let entitlement run wild. If you’re a leader, a friend, or even a parent, clarity is kindness. Set expectations and stick to them.
2. Don’t Reward the Behavior. Don’t confuse kindness with enabling. When you give in to unreasonable demands, you validate them.
3. Lead with Facts, Not Emotion. Keep things documented, especially at work. Facts cut through entitlement like a hot knife through butter.
4. Practice Empathetic Redirection. Instead of clashing, redirect. Example: “I hear you want more responsibility. Let’s work together on building the skills to get there.”
5. Protect Your Energy. Not every battle is yours to fight. Sometimes, the best strategy is space. Keep your peace by limiting contact if needed.
In Black and urban communities where access is earned, not handed out, entitlement sticks out like a sore thumb. It’s not just annoying; it’s offensive. We fight tooth and nail to succeed. To show up early, stay late, build something out of nothing. And here comes someone demanding what we’ve worked for just because they “feel” they should have it.
Let’s be clear: we’re not knocking self-worth. You should believe in yourself. You should know your value. But there’s a difference between saying, “I can earn this” and “I should have this just because.”
So the next time someone comes at you with “I deserve…” ask them:
Why?
What have you done to earn it?
Who are you helping, serving, or building with?
Because in this life, especially our life, nothing is given. It’s earned. Daily.
